Over the holidays, our kids came home and brought with them their spouses, children, and dogs. A few days later, we added grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins to the mix. Our house was more crowded than Costco on the day before Thanksgiving. Of course, we loved every minute of it, but now that it’s over, my husband and I have a new appreciation for the quiet, boring lives we usually lead.
It's the little things that I’ve come to appreciate about being new empty nesters. Before my children left home, I never imagined I would feel this way one day. I love my children, and ten years ago, I would have cried myself to sleep if someone had mentioned that they would all leave the nest one day. I remember imagining this inevitable tragedy: my husband and I alone in our ridiculously too-big nest, clinging to each other, shivering in sadness, too brokenhearted and lonely to go on. I have found, to my delight, that this is not the case.
Things here in our empty nest often run more smoothly than ever before. However, the holidays reminded me that our house couldn't handle much excitement these days before it started to act up. Our home is like a toddler that will melt down if he or she doesn’t get a nap.
With each new guest that arrived, our house began to rebel a little more. Our thermostat started to register the same temperature as the sun each morning. Whole gallons of milk evaporated, leaving only empty jugs in our fridge. Whenever we plugged our phones into a charger, we would return to find the phone still dead and the charger missing, prompting an immediate search for the kidnapper. Our favorite coffee mugs began playing hide-and-seek with us. The Wi-Fi mysteriously froze. Leftovers in the refrigerator vanished overnight. Fresh flowers in the bathroom wilted inexplicably, and toilet paper disappeared, leaving only the cardboard tube. My shower no longer ran hot. Our cars' gas tanks began to register empty even after being topped off the day before. The dishwasher started running loudly 24/7. Water leaked from the floor by the upstairs bathtub through the ceiling below. At one point, our house became incapable of even keeping its doors closed, and on top of that, the alarm blared in the middle of the night, causing all the dogs to bark and all the babies to cry.
Just when I thought our house couldn't take anymore, the holidays ended, and our guests returned to their homes, leaving us (and our house) breathing a collective sigh of relief.
In celebration, my husband and I sat enjoying our morning coffee from our favorite coffee cups and listening only to the sound of our fireplace crackling and the wind blowing outside in the distance. “Do you hear that?” he asked.
“What? I don't hear anything,” I answered.
“Exactly,” he said. “It's wonderfully quiet.”
“Cheers,” I said as we clicked our mugs together and smiled.
Just then, the phone rang, shattering the silence. Our son had been our longest-staying guest. We’d barely even had time to miss him as he’d just headed back to his college apartment this morning.
He began his call with the words, "So you’re not going to believe it." I set down my coffee and turned on the phone's speaker so my husband could hear what I suspected would not be good news. Whenever a phone call from one of our children begins with, "You’re not going to believe it," it's never good. The phrase, “You're not going to believe it,” is never followed by “I just won the lottery,” or “I'm graduating early,” or “I just found the cure for cancer.”
My son continued, "The pipes at my apartment froze and burst over the holidays, and the manager said it will be at least three months before I can live here again. I’ll need to move home and commute for a while.”
After hanging up the phone, my husband and I looked at each other. “Well,” he said. “That had to be the shortest post-holiday honeymoon on record.”
We heard a loud creaking sound from upstairs. “Great,” I panicked. “Our house just heard the news, and it doesn’t sound happy.”
Edited By Rebekah Crozier
Contact Info: avery282@gmail.com
This made me laugh:). So funny and true on many counts!